Black Beauty Diaries

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Tension Tools

Sometimes it maybe hard for us to understand why we lash out at others for no good reasons. You may find yourself bothered with the presence of someone for no apparent reason, just the simple fact that they are standing near you may get on your nerves. With all of the things going on all around us it's hard to see that stress relievers could be something you need on a daily basis. After all it's not easy being human, and impossible to be a perfectly pleasant person everyday. If that's how you live your life somehow you are still off balance. That can set you in a place to automatically blow up like a ticking time bomb.With that effect we can lose trust in all types of friendships and cross boundaries that could possibly cause us to lose out on great friendships. Gaining a handle with knowing yourself and setting  limits on how much you can take to accept another persons emotions and personality can be stressful. Believe it or not we deal with other peoples emotions everyday, at work, at home, even within ourselves as we make hard decisions in life. Funny how the smallest thing can trigger stress. There are many things we can do to bring the pressure down, like exercise, meditation, deep breathing, reading, music therapy, and the one thing I think we all can agree on is sex.  I don't think that there is one single particular thing we can point out that brings on tension. This world is forever turning like the worries of our minds we worry about bills, our children ,family, friends, judgments, money, jobs, religion, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives,the future, the past, but almost never the present. The key to having less headaches is to live to enjoy the mere fact of living, enjoying the little things that keep you relaxed and calm. My tension reliever is meaningful sex, it has no boundaries and we both get satisfaction out of enjoying it with each other.When I say meaningful I mean something to you and you mean something to me we have full understanding of what our relationship is to each other it's not selfish but kind with fulfillment to the both of us. Music is my therapy as well, it goes awesome with sex so much that when I want to really relax  I can begin to write with release of what I was feeling at that very moment especially if I can relate to that song. I find that when I'm going through a tension moment it's a moment I have to handle gentle for it is" MY" own mind and body I have to take pleasure in, by receiving my gifts or the gifts around me. This will help me to appreciate the fact that people around me aren't to blame for the trials we all face everyday. At the end of the day sometimes it's okay to be selfish with yourself, other people's expectations can be pressure beyond measure if you allow it. So stop allowing tension but do allow yourself to enjoy the bits and pieces of genuine life.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Needy Bitches

This morning is very rare for me to wake up and just begin free hand typing. As I said before I write with pen and paper so I think things over a lot and I may even change some words processing. But, not today I want to confront this term "needy bitch" some people have one track minds so automatically they think a "needy bitch" is one who gold digs, want's the money, you know the chick with the dollar signs in her eyes. But I'm here to tell you that the way you may think about this "needy bitch" could be all wrong. A "NEEDY BITCH" to me is a female who needs a man in her life to complete her. She might not want him for all the right reasons, she can be lonely within herself so much that her needs for herself don't matter anymore because she is weak to the fact that a man is what will make her strong. I myself have gone through this emotional effect and it's not easy especially when kids are attached to the situation. But some of these "needy bitches" don't have kids and feel like if they could just have this man it would make them feel whole and this saying goes for men too. This chick feels superior to the fact that she could have a hold on a man from what she has, bottom line is a man is going to do whatever it is that pleases him. You could have the best kitty cat in the world draped with diamonds and gold. It doesn't matter what you have to offer money, cars, clothes, and even a great job. Real love still can't be bought or negotiated. Yes it looks good on a woman to have all these things but what does it matter when in possession of them could mean possession of you as well. This saying goes for men as well, possession is a strong word I have come to know it's a form of control in the idea itself. It makes her feel good to know that she has you because of these things not because of what is beyond those things like her self respect and moral of being a strong woman standing alone when no one is there but God. The first thing you think of when you hear this term "needy bitch" is the one I explained first and I don't know about you but I can be that "needy bitch" when it comes to the things I need it's not hard to find my own way in getting them not because of what a man can do for me but what I can do for myself to possess a manner of sharing them with the one I love even if it's just my heart and soul to give with all loyalty knowing that if I lost it all tommorrow he would be there with no doubts and no fears; vice versa guys. Being there to need to love yourself first is the factor in maintaining a good relationship with God he knows how to love you in each and every way you can imagine. I always say put God first and everything else follows because it's easy to get blinded by what real love is when trying to please someone else first. When all else fails God is always there and needs are met big or small, you don't have to front for nothing because the real you is happy within. Freedom and security are hard to tie down but if you buckle down on your integrity all things will become clear in sincerity. The real truth is I "need" to be happy with or without you, I only have one life to live and I will live it to the fullest of God's abundance whether you like it or not. Though I know I can't take it all when I leave here I will have known that I've decided to love me first without your consent because of what I have or haven't accomplished in your sight. A "needy bitch" can drain your very soul and all you would be thinking about is the things of this world, what goes in and out of your pocket and circulates everyday. Truth can make you miserable or happy, broke or rich. I hope that throughout life we choose wisely for the right reasons many things are taken for granted until we are dead and gone.